I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
