On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
