I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
