At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
