I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
