I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
