when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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