On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
