I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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