Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
