her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
