You can't motorboat a personality
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
