I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
