This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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