i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
