He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
