remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
