we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
