i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
