I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
