For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I wish I only lived at night.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
