your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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