Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
