Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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