You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
