I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize