idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
