I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
