It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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