the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
