nut hugger
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
sarcasm needs its own font
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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