woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
