she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
