How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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