real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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