If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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