Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
