just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize