Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize