SEEEEXXX PLEASE
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
