You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
