I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
