When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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