He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Ambien. No doubt about it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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