finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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