Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
