They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
