Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
