why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
