It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
