No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
