Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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