if i can run in heels then i can drive
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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