i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
