This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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