I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize